I've always had a very complicated relationship with sleep.
After another restless night, it's made me reflect on my long lasting love/hate relationship with sleep. Don't get me wrong, sleep is SUPER important to solid mental health, and a consistent sleep schedule will take you a long way. However, what happens when sleep either tortures you or eludes you altogether? I have suffered from Insomnia stemming from my Anxiety, and even when exhausted sleep will continue to slip away from me. Whether it was all-nighters in Elementary and High School, or even in college where I consistently trudged along on 2-3 hours a night.
The secondary problem? When I do sleep, my dreams are often lifelike night-terrors. My whole life, as long as I could remember has been consumed by what shows up in the dreams I have when I finally do sleep. To be fair, it used to be a lot worse, when I was young it was experiencing loss of my loved ones in dreams in horrific ways. I still remember a very vivid dream where I was waiting in the car while my family was in a shopping complex, (all of them) and the whole thing came down before my eyes. Now it's only my loved ones telling me that they hate me, and never want to see me again. (No big deal) So how have I combated this? Well I haven't mastered the process of course, but there's several things I do.
Meditative thinking is the first step. This can be in several forms, whether it's positive stim, actual meditation, or laying next to my wife. (I love you boo) The latter two are self explanatory, but the first one is an interesting one. What does positive stim mean? Well anything that helps relax and calm you down. I personally love watching antique restoration videos, I think this stems from my Dad's love of restoring things when I was young.
The second step? Noise. I know this seems counter-productive, but I've met many people that need some kind of sound to fall asleep. Something as simple as having a standing fan running overnight, but I prefer something else now. When it's time to shut my eyes and drift into sleep, I will throw on my Night Sky Keys playlist. It's filled with relaxing piano music, and one beautiful vocal performance that helps calm me further. I keep this on repeat through the night, as once I'm asleep and the noise stops, boom I'm awake not long after. So this step is not so much for initially calming you down, but keeping a consistent calm (and thus sleep) throughout the night.
I will be making my playlist public on Spotify, so if you find this is something that will help you, feel free to use it!
Anyway, have a fantastic day, and a great sleep.
